Compassionate Leadership - A thought piece written by Synergems

'When we are motivated by compassion and wisdom, the results of our actions benefit everyone, not just our individual selves or some immediate convenience.'  Dalai Lama 

Having worked with many Leaders and having been Leaders ourselves for many years, we have had the opportunity to see different forms and styles of leadership - from the Dictator to the Passive and everything in between. During a recent Coaching Forum, we were interested to hear from one of our counterparts about their experience of Coaching organisational Leaders recently. They shared that they were seeing a return to the Leader as Conquering Hero; leadership from the top down with little input or regard for others experience or opinions, leading as the all-knowing wise one, from a place of people needing rescuing and at times, from the stance of persecutor. This way of leading was having negative impact on the teams being led, the organisational outcomes and feelings of frustration and burnout for the leaders themselves. It led to a discussion around why this way of leading may be coming into play, at this time, including world influences, what was being lost in choosing to lead in this way, what could counter this way of leading and what impact this could have on leaders, teams and organisations. Compassionate Leadership came to the fore.  

 At Synergems we believe combined efforts result in outcomes greater than individual contributions. We value the aspects of collaboration, connection, and collective creation, emphasizing the unique and impactful results that emerge from synergistic interactions. We know that leading with compassion, may not be the easy option, but in our experience has the power to be incredibly effective both for the person leading and for those they lead.  

Compassionate leadership is founded in creating a culture that values the skills and qualities each person brings to the team.  It is about engaging with individuals through, taking a genuine interest in them through actively listening, responding and supporting when needed through personalised feedback, mentoring and coaching. It strives to overcome challenges inclusively, collaboratively, with kindness, consideration and purpose. It embraces vulnerability, both of self and of others: not seeing this as a weakness but as an opportunity for connection, learning, growth and development.  It is remembering that we are each human and leading with humanity.  

It is not less rigorous, and it does not shy away from accountability, indeed these elements remain at the core of Compassionate Leadership. The difference is Compassionate Leaders aim to be constructive not destructive; even in the most challenging of circumstances or when having to give the most difficult of messages.   

‘Doing the right thing by all involved’ will present differently to each person. While actions may appear subjective, Compassionate Leaders work to balance the needs of the individuals they lead: their unique situation, emotional state, level of confidence, capability, capacity and levels of resilience, alongside the needs of the team and the organisation.  They think strategically, remaining focused on the overarching objective/s or goal/s and often work collaboratively to identify next steps, consider the options available, make decisions alongside necessary adjustments and stay within clear, transparent timeframes.  

Compassionate leadership is not about pleasing people and is not an easy option.  It requires, significant self-awareness, integrity, emotional intelligence, resilience, clear boundaries, the ability to not take things personally and having an appreciation for others’ perspectives. It means being able to consider these perspectives in relation to their own views, the team or organisational context and in relation to information that may only be accessible to them due to their role.  

Compassionate leadership requires presence, effective communication, courage, the ability to make choices including making the most challenging of choices, ability to manage risk, embrace and learn from mistakes, and the desire to engage with reflective practice and ongoing evaluation of impact towards identified successful outcomes.  

Those outside the team may notice and appreciate the consideration, consistency of approach in ‘beingness’ and compassion for the others, while others will observe only the impact they feel on themselves or key member/s within the team and how they would do things differently, leading to criticism, negativity, gossip and unhelpful sniping from the side-lines. 

The most outstanding demonstration of compassionate leadership in action we have had the privilege to witness recently does not come from a CEO of big organisation but from joint managers of the Under 14s male team at Feniton Football Club. They formed the team 2 seasons ago and went on to win their division at the end of last season - an incredible achievement. 

We had the opportunity to speak with both managers - Bonnie and Gayle - about Leading with Compassion, what this means for them and the impact this has on the team and on them as leaders.  

Here are the highlights of what they shared through our conversation: 

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 The importance of knowing each individual player, and personally welcoming them each time we meet, so they feel safe, know they belong, and we have an awareness of when they may be struggling or when their energy levels may be low. Then having a conversation to check in and provide support or setting up the warm- ups to match their needs and raise them up so they feel ready to go and give of their best. 

🌱Knowing the strengths of every individual and utilising these for the best of the team; this includes needing to give potentially ‘hard to hear’ messages to individuals who may not receive the place or position they wish. These conversations are done calmly and privately so the individual can be heard and be supported to understand where they are needed for the team to succeed and the potential for them to gain further opportunity to grow and develop so they can move into a particular position at another time. i.e. seeing potential and enabling this to be fulfilled.  

🧠 Knowing how members of the team complement each other and using this knowledge to get the best possible results for everyone. 

🌟Providing opportunity for team members to ‘step up’ when they have asked including ‘holding to account’ when they opt out or choose not to take an opportunity they have requested.  

🫂Being inclusive- if someone wants to play, they can; a space and role will be found for them to enable them to shine and be an integral part of the team.  

🤝 Modelling shared leadership and how we celebrate and utilise other people’s skills- knowing we can’t achieve what we want to achieve on our own, recognising that we all have things to learn, including learning from mistakes. 

👥No one is the star; everyone is equally important in the team’s success and creating the culture of “How do I create play”- the importance of looking outward and working with others to achieve goals/outcomes. 

🧭 The importance of being prepared for the unknown and approaching these times with calmness and a growth mindset- we can work this out. 

🦋 Recognising the need for both strategic thinking and for working with ‘gut feeling’  

🛠️ Practising new skills until they become embedded 

🪞The importance of being reflective, both in the moment i.e. this isn’t working what can I do differently now, and after a match both when things go well and when they don’t - what could I have done differently? What could I do if something similar arises? How did we achieve what we did this time? Then taking the learning forward and moving on quickly from mistakes or a loss. 

🌞 Sharing and calling out negativity and the impact this has on everyone in the team. Calling out the ‘negativity ear worm’.  

🥳 Having fun is the priority and encouraging risk taking. 

👋 Supporting team members to leave well when they decide to do so, or when it is time for them to do so. Helping them to find their next team, celebrate all they achieved and being excited for them as they move on.  

When asked about their motivating factors to Lead with Compassion they shared: 

We wanted to create something different. Something that was for the children, for the parents, and for the community. We wanted to create something meaningful and positive where the children could come and play and thrive. We wanted to create a space where they feel positive about themselves, can find and use their voice and know they will be heard and listened to, to support them to recognise and express their emotions in a safe way, to develop their emotional intelligence, to create a space where they know and feel they belong, to be a place of stability where they can flourish, grow, develop and succeed.  

It will be interesting to see the potential long-term impact the experience of being in this team will have on those who are part of it. How their experience of being led with Compassion will impact on how they communicate and connect with others and how they will choose to lead when they have the opportunity.  

If all teams and organisations were led by Compassionate Leaders, what difference could it make?